The Weird Family down the Block
by vampiremichichan
Summary: This story relates the tales of a not normal family. Meiko and Kaito are married and they adopted Rin and Len. Gakupo lives with them so does Luka. Miku and Gumi live there too. MeikoxKaito
1. Chapter 1

**The idea came to me while i was making up a bedtime story for my brother. Please comment.**

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Narrator's POV

In the suburbs of Yagami city, the home of the Fighting Frogs a football team. To be honest the mascot looked exactly like Kermit the Frog. Well in the suburbs in a small neighborhood a few months ago a very strange family moved in. if you could even call them a family. To all the neighbors they were weird, the man in the house was a woman named Meiko who the neighbors barley knew. They met the woman of the house, man named Kaito. And they had adopted two kids. Or as Old man Leon called them: the demonic twins. A boy and a girl named Rin and Len. In the house also lived Kaito's best friend Gakupo. A washed up singer who lost his career after losing his voice for three months. Meiko's friend also lived there, Luka. And Kaito's little sister Miku. And Gakupo's sister Gumi

To everyone in the neighborhood this was strange. But to be honest no one there was normal. There was a lady that didn't live with cats or dogs; she lived in a house full of monkeys. On her porch it's totally normal see her playing checker with a chimp. The chimp usually wins.

Another lady was obsessed that Tap water was basically dirty water without purification. The twins called her crazy poop water lady. She has installed a least ten filters in her house and she only drinks bottled water.

Well on to the story.

It was 4:·30 in the morning, Meiko were sleeping peacefully and next to her was her sweet husband Kaito. Kaito was wearing noise cancelling headphones due to that Meiko always snores and keeps him awake all night. Then a great noise surprised Meiko and she woke up.

"Kaito! Kaito!" She said attempting to wake him up. But he couldn't hear her. So Meiko got pissed and kicked him off the bed .

"Hey what was that for?!" Kaito said sleepy.

"I think there's a burglar in the house. We have to check everyone is okay." She said as she grabbed her bunny slippers. It looked really funny on her since she was wearing a red satin short nightdress. Kaito was wearing his silk blue pajamas.

"Besides I think Gakupo has a gun. So we can use it." Meiko said.

"Okay let's go." He said. So they made their way to the hall when suddenly someone started hitting Kaito with a stick. It was Gumi.

"Gumi stop! It's me your bro Kaito!" Kaito said while covering his head.

she stopped and stared at him.

"Sorry I thought you were trying to take advantage of Meiko." She said smiling.

"So you heard the noise too." Meiko said.

"Yeah." Gumi said. She was wearing typical shorts that had cartoon carrots on them and a matching tee.

"We should check on Gakupo and get the gun." Kaito said rubbing the places Gumi hit him.

And they walked quietly towards Gakupo's room and when they open the door they couldn't believe what they saw. He was one the computer playing Angry birds. He was still wearing his day clothes, jeans and a purple t-shirt.

"Gakupo!" Kaito said pissed.

"What? Oh hi bro." Gakupo said with a Zombie type voice.

"How long have you've been playing?!" Gumi asked concerned.

"Since 8, I guess." He said with his eyes glued to the screen.

"So you haven't slept." Meiko guessed.

"Nope. I hate these fucking pigs they just won't die." Gakupo said.

"Yeah." Kaito said confused.

"Pause that stupid game! I think there's a burglar in the house." Meiko said.

Gakupo pause the game and stared at them.

"Give me your gun!" Kaito said. So Gakupo opened his desks drawers and gave him a gun. But it was really light.

"Is this loaded?" Kaito asked

"Of course not it's a bubble gun." Gakupo said sleep deprived.

"Then it's useless!" Meiko said pissed off.

"You idiot!" Gumi yelled at him.

"The burglar doesn't know it's a bubble gun." Gakupo said.

"Oh yeah. You're forgiven." Kaito said.

"We should check if Luka is alright." Gumi said worried.

"Yeah." They all said and they walked towards her room.

She was still asleep.

"Luka!" Kaito said.

"Luka!" Gakupo and Gumi said.

Then Luka moaned but they heard a second moan. And they saw a guy was with her but not just any guy it was Meiko's boss's son Kiyoteru Hiyama.

"What's going on?" Luka said as she sat up. Kiyoteru rubbed his eyes and grabbed his glasses from Luka's nightstand.

"Oh hi Meiko-chan!" Kiyoteru said.

"LUKA YOU HAD SEX WITH MY FUTURE BOSS!" Meiko yelled pissed.

"Isn't it obvious?" Luka said.

"Sorry you had to find out this way. I wanted to tell you since the beginning but Luka insisted on not to." Kiyoteru said as he stood up wearing his pants.

Luka was a woman who liked to be taken care of so basically she was a gold digger.

"I'll ignore this right know." Meiko thought.

"There's burglar in the house." Gumi said.

"Why would someone break in here there's nothing good to steal." Luka said as she stood up. She was wearing a short sexy black nightdress.

"Come on!" Meiko said pissed.

"Do you have anything we can use to fight off the burglar?" Gakupo said towards Kiyoteru.

"I do carry a Taser in my jacket pocket." Kiyoteru responded as he took it out.

"Perfect! We have to check on the twins." Meiko said worried. And they all ran to the twins' bedrooms that were side by side.

"Wait a second!" Meiko said towards the men. "You guys check on Len!"

"Why?" Kaito asked confused.

"Why? Rin is a teenage girl in her pajamas there's no way I'm going to let those guys see her." Meiko explained. Gakupo and Kiyoteru stared at her.

"Is this because of the raped kids documentary you saw the other day?" Kaito asked despite he already knew the answer to that.

"Did you know that almost all rapes occur inside the household?" Meiko said traumatized.

"That's it no more T.V for you!" Kaito said.

"Okay we'll check on Len." Gakupo said.

Meiko and the girls entered Rin's room and saw that she was still asleep in her bed. She was hugging her plush bunny. Which she called Usagi-san.

"Rin!" Meiko whispered.

"Wake up!" Luka said as she shakes Rin.

"What?!" Rin said as she woke up. She was wearing a pink frilly night dress.

"That was mean." Gumi said towards Luka.

"Whatever." Luka said.

"Rin we think there's a burglar in the house." Meiko said.

"Why would someone break in? We don't have nice things." Rin said as he rubbed her eyes.

"See! Even Rin agrees with me." Luka pointed out. Meiko just stared at her

Meanwhile the guys entered Len's room which was a complete mess. He was asleep.

"Len wake up!" Kaito said sweetly.

"Wake up moron!" Gakupo said as he shot bubbles from the bubble gun. Len woke up and some bubbles popped in his eyes.

"Ow! That burns!" Len yelled. As he stood up, he was wearing a t-shirt and orange boxers.

"Not sorry." Gakupo said.

"Asshole!" Len yelled then he saw Kiyoteru. "Who's that?"

"Oh hi I work with your mother." Kiyoteru said nicely while extending his hand to shake it.

"Why is he shirtless?" Len asked confused.

"He's also Luka's new boyfriend." Gakupo said.

"Oh I see." Len said calmly then he got mad.

"WHY THE HELL DID YOU WAKE ME UP?!" He said angry.

"There's a burglar in the house." Kaito said.

"Oh okay." Len said as he opened his drawer nearby and pulled out a gun.

"Why do you have a gun?" Kaito asked concerned.

"It's a dart gun." Len explained.

"Oh!" Kaito said.

They all went to the hallway where they found the girls.

"Who's that?" Rin asked when she saw Kiyoteru.

"That's Luka's boyfriend and Meiko's boss." Gumi explained.

Rin rolled her eyes she still had Usagi san with her.

Then they all heard another sound but this time it was from downstairs. It was sound of that something got thrown and it broke.

"The burglar is downstairs!" Meiko said.

""Hey we're 7 and he's one. We can totally take him." Gakupo said.

"What if he has a gun?" Gumi said.

"If he had a gun we would all be dead by now." Len explained.

"Okay we'll all go downstairs and attack the bastard!" Meiko said.

"What are you going to use?" Kaito asked Meiko

And then she spotted her stilettos that she used yesterday night.

"I'll use these!" Meiko said as she picked the shoes.

"I read somewhere that high heel can kill people." Kiyoteru said.

"Okay let's all go downstairs quietly." Meiko said

They all went quietly downstairs and they went to where they heard more sounds coming directly from the kitchen they all went to see and saw a hooded figure opening the refrigerator.

"On the count of three, we all attack." Gakupo whispered.

"One, Two….THREE!" Meiko yelled as they all started to attack the figure.

Len and Gakupo shot him with darts and bubbles. Gumi and Meiko hit him with all their strength. Kaito grabbed a frying pan and help them. Kiyoteru had tasered him various ti

Rin turned on the kitchen light and the hooded figure was just Miku. She had gone unconscious and she was having leg spasms due to being tapered.

"Oh my god!" They all said as they stopped. Miku looked horrible, she had a dart on her forehead, her eyes were puffy because of the bubbles, and she had marks all over legs. She was wearing a teal hoodie over her white night gown.

"I think she's dead." Gumi said as she poked her with the stick.

"Nah." Len said.

"I'm tired, I'm going to bed." Gakupo said as he went upstairs.

"Rin let's watch T.V." Len said.

"Sure." She answered.

"I'll start making breakfast." Kaito said as he started to lit stove.

"I'll help." Gumi said.

"Then I should go." Kiyoteru said.

"No stay for breakfast. You're practically part of family now." Kaito said.

"Okay." Kiyoteru said.

"I'll do my homework." Luka said. She's in the university studying to be an arquitect.

"I'll help." Kiyoteru said.

"This is too much I'm going to bed." Meiko said. She went upstairs and slept she couldn't take more of her demented family. While Miku was still on the floor.

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**Commenting helps the creative process**


	2. Chapter 2

Narrator's POV:

Outside the family's house, a small red car had just parked. And Meiko came out and she looked like a mess, she closed the door of her car kicking it. She had a terrible day at work. She lost a case, and her boss was on her back. And her arch-nemesis, Tonio, told her that she was a useless, temperamental bitch, so she slapped him in the face in front of the boss. She was sure she was going to get fired all she wanted was to eat and go to sleep. Meiko opened the door to her house to see Len and Gakupo playing Halo 4 together in the living room.

"Hey Dad!" Len said towards Meiko.

Meiko stared at him pissed off.

"Oh hi honey!" Kaito said sweetly.

"Mom, Dad's pissed off." Len said as he continued.

"No I'm not, Lenny." Kaito said.

"You asshole! He says that I'm the dad and you're the mom!" Meiko said angrily.

"Why would he think that?" Kaito asked innocently.

"Dude, you're the stay at home Dad and Meiko is out making money. That's why!" Gakupo said.

"Nobody asked your opinion!" Meiko yelled pissed.

"And there's the fact that you act like a guy!" Gakupo teased.

Meiko clenched her fists and went to the kitchen and saw that there wasn't anything on the stove.

"Where's dinner?" Meiko asked angry.

"You said yesterday that you were going to make dinner, remember?" Kaito said as he entered.

"No I don't remember! I'm not making dinner!" She said.

"Why not?" He asked.

"I've worked all day with these painful shoes and with those jerks at works. The last thing I want to do when I get home is make dinner, when you do nothing!" Meiko yelled pissed.

"Do you think the house cleans itself?!" Kaito screamed.

"Yes, I do!" Meiko screamed.

"God! I use to work too but I gave it up to be here with the kids!" Kaito yelled upset.

"being a nurse isn't a real job!" Meiko said.

"Is everything okay?" Luka said as she entered the kitchen.

"Yeah." They both said.

"Well what's for dinner?" Luka asked.

"Nothing, someone didn't cook." Meiko said and Kaito just stared at her.

Miku and Rin entered the kitchen.

"Hey mom and dad." Rin said calmly.

"So what are we going to eat?" Miku asked.

"We're going out for dinner. We're getting Chinese." Meiko said.

"I'll get Gumi." Rin said.

"I'll tell the guys." Miku said.

"Take out; wow you're the best mother in the world." Kaito said sarcastically.

"Whatever, at least I'm not a lame person." Meiko said.

And they all entered Kaito's car, a blue Toyota Prado. Kaito was in the driver's seat he was wearing a blue t-shirt and jeans, Meiko was in the passenger's seat she was still wearing her velvet dress and black jacket, in the first row of seats were Luka, Gumi and Gakupo. Luka was wearing skinny jeans with a white shirt and a blue sweater, Gumi was wearing an orange dress with a jean jacket, Gakupo was wearing jeans and a white shirt. In the second row of seats were Len, Miku and Rin. Len was wearing some jeans and an Orange t-shirt, Rin was wearing ultra-skinny jeans and a golden tee with a black jacket. Miku was wearing a gray skirt and a blue t-shirt.

Kaito was angry; Meiko ignored her husband and sat with her arms crossed. Gakupo was playing Angry Birds on his cellphone, Gumi was reading a Fan fiction on hers, and Luka was texting. Miku was painting her nails, Len was playing on his PSP Vita, and Rin was texting as well.

After a few minutes of annoying silence and sounds of pigs and text noises they arrived to P.F. Changs. They all got off and entered the restaurant and managed to get a big table.

"Meiko, I hope you don't mind. I invited Kiyoteru to eat with us." Luka said.

"What?!" Meiko said surprised.

"Shhhhh, there he comes." Luka said.

Kiyoteru entered the restaurant and walked towards their table.

"Hi Meiko-san, Hi Kaito, hey guys." Kiyoteru said kindly. "I hope I'm not interrupting."

"Of course not." Meiko said nicely.

Kiyoteru sat next to Luka.

"Look like you guys are getting serious." Kaito said starting a conversation.

"Well, yes." Luka said.

"Len get off that thing!" Meiko said.

"No way I'm about to pass this level." Len responded without looking at her.

"So what are we going to order?" Gumi said noticing that Meiko was getting pissed off.

"Well dumplings, wontons, egg rolls." Miku said.

"Well that's keeping the diet." Luka said.

"Unlike you I can eat whatever I want without guilt." Miku bragged.

"How about some chop suey and Chinese fried rice?" Kaito said trying to avoid a cat fight.

"Yeah that sounds nice." Kiyoteru said.

"And my Kung Pao chicken?" Meiko asked.

"Okay that too." Kaito said.

"Daddy can I have Mandarin chicken." Rin said sweetly.

"Sure sweetie." Kaito said.

"You do know that has mandarin and oranges in it?" Gakupo asked Rin.

"Of course that's why I want it." Rin said.

Kaito ordered the food and they waited for it.

"Len stop playing we're at dinner." Meiko said peeved.

"Then make Rin stop texting her boyfriend!" Len reasoned.

"You have a boyfriend?!" Gumi said surprised.

"No I don't! Piko is just a friend!" Rin said.

"What about Mikuo and Nero?" Len asked.

"Who are they?" Miku asked interested.

"Some of the many boys that are in love with Rin." Len said trying to annoy his sister. Mission accomplished. Rin stared at him angrily.

"Well Len sells Luka's underwear on the internet! That's why he's loaded!" Rin said.

"What? That's why I barely have any left." Luka said.

"You had a con and you didn't make me part of it! That's it I'm not following you on Twitter anymore!" Gakupo said dramatically.

"Rin I don't sell just Luka's underwear, I also sell yours and Gumi's and Miku's. You'd be surprised how well they sell." Len said.

"Len how dare you do that!" Meiko said.

"Would you like it if your sister sold your underwear to strangers?" Kaito said.

"It'd be okay if she gives me a cut of course." Len said.

"Here's your food!" The waitress said sweetly.

Then they all started to eat and Meiko took this opportunity to steal Len's PSP.

"Hey!" Len yelled.

"You're grounded!" Meiko said and Len just sighed.

"But Mom, I didn't sell yours cheap!" Len complained.

"You messed up, bastard!" Gumi said.

"You're grounded for eternity! Now eat your food!" Kaito said.

Then Len looked for a wonton when Miku grabbed it and ate it. It was the last one.

"Mom! Miku ate the last wonton and it was mine!" Len wailed.

"If you can sell my underwear on the internet all by yourself, then you don't need me." Meiko said resentful.

"Dude you're going to hell!" Gakupo said as he snickered.

"Gakupo sometimes peeks on the girls while they're changing!" Len said.

"No I don't you do that!" Gakupo said. And before they could continue they both got hit on the head by Kaito and hard. Even though he didn't seem like the violent type. Kaito was very stern when he got pissed.

"I feel so violated!" Miku said dramatically.

"I'm sorry you have to deal with this." Luka said softly towards Kiyoteru.

"It's okay your family is like a reality TV show." Kiyoteru said with a smile.

"You're too kind." Luka said nicely.

Len stole Rin's cellphone and started to read her texts.

"So you've been talking to Miki?" He said.

"Give me that you jerk!" Rin said angry.

Gumi hit Len on the head and took the cellphone away.

"Thanks Gumi!" Rin said grateful.

"God I can't even eat in peace!" Meiko complained.

"Meiko-san, I almost to forget to tell you. My dad is sorry about how he treated you." Kiyoteru said nicely.

"What?" Meiko asked.

"After you left I told my father how wonderful a wife and mother you are and he understood that sometimes doing that and having a career can complicate things." He said. "And he sad, he'll stop pressuring you."

"Thank you so much! You can fuck her whenever you want!" Meiko said happily and sweetly.

"Okay." Kiyoteru said confused.

"Can I have my PSP back?" Len asked taking advantage that she's in a good mood.

"Hell no!" Meiko said happily.

After they finished dinner they went back home where all the girls hit Gakupo and Len to almost death, with Kaito's permission. Kiyoteru went home.

Len was forced to give all of his profit to Meiko; she put in a safe jar. It was a lot of money. And they took away all of Len's electronics, Meiko then stated that the new rule was that the girls had to have their rooms locked whenever they were changing.

After all the rule changing, Meiko and Kaito changed to their pajamas and got ready to go to bed. While Kaito was on the bed reading a book, Meiko got in and hugged him.

"I'm sorry for the way I treated you. I was just so angry and tired. Please forgive me." Meiko said sweetly.

"There's nothing to forgive." Kaito said as he kissed her.

"Hey guys! Can I use Len's PlayStation 3?" Gakupo asked as he entered interrupting them. Meiko just threw a shoe at the door. Then she and Kaito went to sleep.

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